A moment of passion

So I intentionally left this pretty raw/unpolished. This is my heart - Enjoy it :)

Oh, that I would burn purely for you. Take me by the heart and never let go! Fill me with your presence, I must run harder, faster, with greater singleness of mind. Not a servants working of the fields, but the labor of a friend who is filled with the Love of the most high! I must be moved in the fullness of what you have for me. People make fun of what you say to me. I protect these jewels you freely give, and experience a life of impossible pleasure. Look neither to the left or to the right, nothing will take me from you. I must be undefeated. If Jesus can do it, I can do even greater things than what He did! The Bible says it and I believe it and that is enough. When I first believed in the impossibility of the Gospel it was, “because the Bible said so and God’s word was enough for me to believe”. At that point I began to discern that which is spiritually discerned. What was impossible from a secular perspective became reality for me. I believed the Truth, and then I experienced the Truth afterwards. The impossible became possible. Your promises are precious to me. They bridge the Gap between the facts and the Truth. The fact is that a broken family and lack of parenting combined with fear should have stunted my growth, but the truth is that You speak and all things work together for my good. The fact is that I do my best and hope it works out, but the Truth is You speak and every gift under heaven is mine so I am able. The facts are that the enemy comes for me and my relationships are broken and flawed, disease takes me, but You speak and I am hidden out of the grasp of the enemy. The fact is that Andre is homeless and suffers from a six-year long foot disability, and cries from the heart because he has no hope, but the Truth is you speak, we listened and obeyed, and Andre’s foot was miraculously healed, hope supernaturally restored, and now has his own apartment! Lust came for me, but you delivered me from her poison. Fear made my hands tremble, but you spoke and fear did not win my heart. You fought for me when death came for me! Death chases after me but catches nothing. Their jaw breaks, and teeth shatter as they try to take me. You are mighty to save and where you presence is, there is a peace that is violent in its complete removal of fear, darkness, and death. You delivered me from my enemies, restore me, and then you deliver my enemies to me. Who could fathom your heart? Yet you invite me in. To explore the depths of you. You alone determine limits from lies. You hide yourself from the wise, and reveal yourself to the simple. You are set apart, and the wisdom of the ages is known by her children. I remember the works you have done in me and my heart ignites with a new hope. A hope that the sea could not take, a fire that defines everything around me. Something worth dieing for, something worth living for, something that I love to bring. I will be the greatest, because you paid the price, because you made the way, because you spoke to me late into the night, when I was asleep you came to me and spoke tenderly to me, things that my heart feared to give thought to….but you strengthened my heart! You wrestled with my heart, brought underserved favor in you left hand and in your right the power to grow the impossible things you spoke to me.  When I pray God comes. Some call me arrogant, I am called humble by the Ancient of Days, like moses who in his humility parted the red sea. Who is it that determines the mathematical impossibility of the principles and theories that have within them allotted for us the necessary components for life on this planet? Who is it that listens to the silent cries of my heart? Who is it that pursues with unrivaled passion? Who is it that could abandon me to darkness, but has chosen to be vulnerable to my decisions? Who is it that is absolutely right all of the time, but has chosen ‘love’ as the greatest ‘of these‘? Who is it? It is my friend.

Current progress

Be more for good than against evil. Then, by default, you will not do what you fear. Lately, that is what I have been contending for. My biggest fear is that I would be found wasting my life on nothing. That I would settle for less than what Jesus died for. I am not trying to prove myself to anyone, just what can happen in the life of a laid down lover. I said it haha Now I got to live it. haha I will say there is more that I could be doing, but I am about throwing every weight that so easily entangles me in this race. Specifically, God is taking me through familiar territory only the enemies are little different this time around. I want to stay focused on Him. I want Him so much. I will not let anything inhibit my enjoying Jesus. Here is a challenge: to get rid of inhibiting weight. If you find yourself struggling in a certain area, cease to dwell on what the enemy is doing. Be more for good. For every bad thought, claim the opposite over that situation. Put it on your lips. Power in the tongue. I will put an example at the bottom. You can do it! Darkness is gone when light comes. In the same way you will not have the stuff that holds you down gone by anything, but bringing in the light of the world! It is within you, and I look forward to seeing the greatness revealed that is already within you. Say this if you will: Father, I ask that I would be found asking the right questions to ask to get closer to you, the right doors to knock on, and the right paths of seeking. I want you more than anything. Have your way in me as it is in heaven. Let me boast in that I know you! Remember principles are to bring you to the Father’s presence and you will do it. Spend more of yourself on Him than anything else and you will see. You got it!

Lessons Learning

Lessons learning: You don’t win staring contests with the enemy. You don’t conquer the grave by staring at it. My neighbors have a had a dog since it was  a puppy. They use a toddler fence to keep it quarantined while they are away. The dog is big enough now that it could easily jump the fence, but it does not attempt because it has never succeeded. When the father whispers to me it is like a bridge. Every thing He shares leads to new places, and crossing dangerous waters that I have never attempted. In the words of Mewithoutyou “No one clips my claws! now everyone watch me scale these outside walls! Look you pious and profane, put away your praise and blame, A glass can only spill what it contains.” I fill myself with the choicest of drinks. I am realizing that having hope beyond reason is the most reasonable thing I could do this side of the cross. Retaining a furious Love that is relentless in achieving it’s selfless ends. Seeds of joy that will not be choked out by the weeds/cares of this world. Peace despite the storm. Faith to move mountains. Crossing the tension between my experiences/facts and what He speaks over me. I will see the fullness that Jesus paid for realized in my life. Seek first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added to you. Good and good for you! Be blessed!

Just livin life!

Kickin at the bucks w/ my pumpkin spice latte after class (I know! ‘boo starbucks’. I had to use up this giftcard so Bam! Take it!) Since last thrusday life has been nonstop fun! Got off work and headed over to Holly’s for a night of pumpkin carving, friends, and Sam Adams. A great night with Great people. Got home at 4 a.m. - slept till 1 ,and packed my mess and headed to Hotlanta. Beej got a speeding ticket before we left Charleston county. So funny yet not funny at all. Overall amazing weekend! Met a bizzalion people I have never met in my life. Got to hang with my friend Josiah who I haven’t seen in 2 yrs or so. God is doing great things in His life! Can’t to hear of His exploits! Showed up a halloween party that Josiah got me into. Prophesied over a girl at the party. She already knew Jesus but left super encouraged, exhorted, etc. She confirmed that what I was saying was right. SO much fun! Plus they had a variety of Classy beers! Also, there was the thing that was cassorole in consistancy and it was cheesy, had chicken and texas pete! Soooo good! (you religious peeps don’t worry, the word I gave was spot on and the people at the party were comfortable with me having delicious beer)

Went to Bethel ATL! Saw a bunch of people who were from a church that I kinda grew up in. So strange but cool. The Lord totally met me during worship So flippin good. Free lunch! Credit: Jackson family- thank you so much! Went to see Jonsi that night and was so so so amazed! Wonderful performance! And visually stunning. I went that night and stayed at Beej’s friends place. I felt pain in my stomach which is very weird cause I have a stomach of steel. Then his friend mentioned that she had stomach ulcers. I knew this was the Lord prompting me to do something about it, but I chickened out. What did I have to lose! Ugh! well, the Lord is gonna redeem that mess and I will not let that happen again! In general God is putting me into so many friendships with people, and I am to help them out. Not get things done for them, rather provide them with heart encounters that will remind them of who they are. Who God sees them as. Pray for me, that I’d be found constantly abiding in Jesus so much so that these relationships the Lord has given me will be filled with His love and power.  Side note: woman yesterday at the Gap might have the hook up as far as me getting to Scandinavia! She knows spirit filled Christians that are looking for Bethel graduates! I think this just might be the door I have been looking for! Be blessed! Love to ya!

First post omg! A glimpse of my heart :)

The following contians intentional and unintentional grammatical errors

so it is the end October and I am so looking forward to the future that I have to constantly remind myself that there is a purpose for the now. I just recently had epic fail moment that reminded me that I need to steward well what I have been given. Relationships, money, time, etc. Last week was not so hot for me. I was so dry. I was so desperate to feel alive again. My flesh literally was crying out. That is when he came for me. His touch is like a breath of fresh air. He is the warmth of my heart. So good.

Papa God told me simply to ‘remember Him’. It was such a powerful statment encompassing “Remember his touch. The way He feels. What He has done for me. What He has said about and directly to me.” He fills my dreams in the night and my heart is for Him. 

I have had it said of me (prophecy- don’t be offended just yet! Stick with me a little longer!)  that I am a warrior and man yeah! it is so true. I live for contending. Don’t get me wrong - I enjoy victory, but man, being in that tension, the front lines, the place where the enemy is resisting, what ecstasy it is to bring about the fullness that Jesus died to bring!

Bringin love to destroy the fear, peace to calm storms, strength in place of weakness, hope to awaken the disheartened, healing to the sick, freedom to captives and prisoners, good news to the poor! Just like Jesus (i.e. both naturally and supernaturally. I do my best to do what the Father is doing and say what He is saying. Sometimes it is supernatural. This is me being sincere). Sometimes I don’t get the results I want, but regardless His word and word made flesh creates the way for victory. I will not allow my experiences to determine what He is saying! Nothing can detur or slow me down because even if I fail I can still rely on His promises as my ‘Ace in the hole’ (poker term). Enforcing the kingdom of heaven in my life and in the lives I come He brings me…Are you serious?! Oh man I burn for that mess!  So I have many private victories that I need to win and I know that if I am faithful with these He will give me access to the big time public victories! haha I wonder how you feel after reading this. I hope encouraged and excited. You have what it takes, God is within you (given you love Jesus). The fullness, life abundant, ecstatic fun are yours for the taking. Jesus cut out the distance between you and those things. I pray that you would have God encounters like none you have ever experienced! That you would find yourself enamored by His presence! That truly He would be your reward! A cycle of deeper and deeper and deeper intimacy with Jesus! Get’em!

If you stuck through this too the end hat’s off to ya!